Easter 2: John 21.1-19

TS Eliot wrote:
The end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And to know the place for the first time.

Is this chapter, John chapter 21, an end or a beginning? It’s an ending – a postscript to the gospel. It was probably added at a later date, since the previous chapter gives what appears to be an end of the gospel. We have already read about the empty tomb, the women, the conversation between Jesus and Mary, the appearance of Jesus in the upper room, then the special occasion for Thomas, the doubter; and all that has happened. Then there appears to be a pause in events. Then it starts up again with this wonderful story, which is a beginning too as we shall see.
Peter wasn’t initially thinking about a beginning. He was after the familiar, the ordinary, the safe, the predictable. Perhaps he had had enough excitement. Perhaps all the extraordinary events of recent weeks had ‘done his head in’ as we would say.  He was going back. Back to the past. A place where he thought he would feel confident and competent.  I’m going fishing, he said. Yeah, the others agreed. We’ll come too.
And what did they catch? Zilch. The dimly seen stranger on the shore shouts ‘Caught anything, lads?’ ‘Not a sprat!’ they reply. Useless, it was no good. Not competent, after all. It’s not the same now. Not like it used to be, somehow.
And he shouts back, ‘Try the other side of the boat’. Imagine the knowing looks between the fishermen. Thinks he knows, does he! Some kind of expert I suppose! Oh well nothing to lose, may as well give it a go. And then – quick, grab it, hold on, John! As John, no doubt ignoring the straining net, narrows his eyes squinting back at the stranger, putting two and two together. He says quietly to Peter ‘It’s the Lord.’ And Peter, letting go of the net, grabbing his clothes, leaping into the water – get there quick; suddenly he is a different man - no doubt the others cursed as dropped his end of the net.
This chapter is a marvellous mixture of very human story with layer upon layer of deep significance. It’s about mission; it’s about the new community; it’s about sacrament.
Remember the water turned into wine at Cana, remember the pool in Jerusalem with supposed healing properties – water in this gospel symbolises the old dispensation. The past. Now superceded, now not needed. Don’t go back, go forward. Jesus comes to call them forward.
The other gospel writers, Luke, Mark, Matthew had Jesus calling these fishermen from their nets at the start of his ministry. Follow me, he said, I will make you fish for people. Not in John, not until this point. It is as if their discipleship only starts here. They just begin to be really disciples here. Or at least they make a new beginning. Or they recognise that a new beginning is being made. They can’t go back to the way things were, life is changed for ever, by his death and resurrection. They need to recognise that, it isn’t clear enough to them yet. The future is radically different.
And for Peter, there is the tremendously important business of reconciliation, on a personal level, with Jesus. He is forgiven, of course, his denial – long ago. Probably before he even did it. But there is a process of healing within Peter that has yet to happen. Head and heart are not quite together on this one, and the conversation with Jesus by the lake with the threefold question, do you love me, and the threefold commitment Yes Lord I love you – does its healing work. Sometimes our guilt and our self-loathing is such that we need a little extra help in believing ourselves forgiven, in feeling loved and accepted and embraced again by the Lord. So Peter gets a new beginning after his threefold denial.
That is one of several numbers in the passage, which may be significant. John doesn’t waste words. A threefold commitment; 7 disciples out fishing together – two are not even named, one wonders whether they are there to make up the number 7, in this gospel with its 7 signs and its 7 ‘I am’ sayings.  Then the fish, 153 of them! So much has been written speculating about those 153 fish – why the number? Why count them? If it just means a lot, why such an odd number. One theory is that they knew of 153 species of fish so this catch symbolised the universal reach of the gospel, of the church. However the symbol works, it is meant to be a huge catch, and it’s about the mission of the disciples, our mission. The net didn’t break, all were safe. Included. In my Father’s house are many rooms. All types of persons, all nations, no exclusions.
Then breakfast, Jesus took bread – where did that come from?  And does that phrase ring a bell? –and fish. In this gospel there is no institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper – all the theology of the Eucharist is in other places . This is a Eucharistic meal, but its breakfast, not supper. Why breakfast? It’s daybreak, dawn, the beginning of the day, it’s a new beginning. Just as Jesus rose at dawn. The fast ends, the feasting begins; a new creation. ‘In him was life, and the life was the light of all people.’
And Peter’s new beginning is about more than his past; it’s about his future. . Do you love me? Yes Lord I do – tend my sheep, feed my lambs, feed my sheep. Peter is drawn from fishing to shepherding – this is his calling now. To lead the new community, to lead them in the way Jesus led as the Good Shepherd, to nurture them, care for them and protect them. And as Jesus was both the Good Shepherd and the lamb of God, so Peter too one day will submit to being led, will stretch out his arms and be bound, dying the death of a martyr, the death of the shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep.
Peter wanted to go back. He was called forward; forward into resurrection life. He was called to be shepherd of the sheep, to build the new community; to spread the net wide and to bring in all people.  And Jesus didn’t tell him to do this until he had asked him the question – do you love me? Is it me that you love most? He asks us the same question now and always. Do you love me? And when we are able to say yes, I love you, or even I want to love you, I am trying to love you,  I want my love for you to grow; Jesus says to us as he said to Peter, right, then, so take the bread, take me, take my body – give it out, spread it out, feed them.